I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
