shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
