we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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