Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
