ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
