how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
