PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
