dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
