living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
