I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize