Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
