She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
