she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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