I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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