but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
