How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
