I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
