i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize