so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
