Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
