Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
