I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
