I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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