Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
