ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
