just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
