i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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