He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
