I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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