After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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