I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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