He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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