All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
