She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
