we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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