a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
