have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
