After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize