Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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