PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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