I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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