Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
