Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
