allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
