I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
wanna go halves on a baby?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize