We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
