I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
