When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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