i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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