how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
