fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
