Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
