wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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