Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
