Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
