I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
