where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
