Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize