i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You are a genius and a whore.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
