My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
be right there i have to get my cape
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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