I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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